Wednesday, February 25, 2015

My issues with Islam .. part 2

Hi Universe!

Ok.. where was I? Oh .. inability to change.  So, while I believe orthodox factions of other religions continue to exist, modern society has generally left them behind.  These are types of people who can't see each other during sex, or can't eat hamburger on Wednesdays, etc.  They don't have a large enough force in today's society to make a difference.  I.e. Amish people are stuck in the past, but really don't have enough influence to get the whole world to be Amish like them, nor do they really care about trying to do so.  So modern society leaves them alone.  Muslims are generally the same way; but they number in the billions.  They have their own economies, countries, etc.  However, having a robust economy and believing that everyone should live poor are opposing ideas. (Many religions feel being poor means being closer to God or coming closer to enlightenment, i.e. Buddhist monks, priests, etc.; Islam is no different)  So in every instance when a Muslim country tries to compete with a non-Muslim counterpart, i.e. Pakistan vs India, the latter will win become of a stronger impetus to improve.  Muslims generally believe the pinnacle of society was in 1400 AD, and we should emulate that as much as possible. They generally just want to be left alone, to deal with their own messes in their own way, similar to Hasidics and the Amish.

Now, here is where it gets tricky.  The left views Muslims as something to be coddled as they are generally discriminated against in America.  That part is true.  The right tends to believe that Sharia (Islamic law) is being implemented in America.  That is not true.  99% of Muslims have nothing to do with terrorism and absolutely don't condone that behavior. In fact, most Muslims have such a hard time with the fact that Muslims are responsible for terrorism they have created elaborate rewrites on history to rationalize what it takes to kill thousands of people in the name of religion in the modern era.  If you ask many Muslims if Osama bin laden was responsible for 9/11, you will get a few scripted responses.  These scripted responses are: OBL was involved with 9/11, but it was a secret American plot. OBL was not involved with 9/11, in fact it was (insert some random enemy here).  Or finally, my favorite, OBL was involved with 9/11, but look at how the West has treated Muslim countries.  Not one Muslim I know of has been able to point a finger at themselves, and say.. wow, Islam has a real problem with fundamentalism, lets try to work on that. This is because Islam is complete, whole and final.  If blame is to be assigned, it can be assigned to the measly humans who exist to interpret and live with Islam; but not the religion in its purest form.  This may be true, Islam it it's purest form doesn't a give a rats behind about states, economies, laws, etc.  It has to do with a personal subservience to God that is reached through constant spiritual reminders and prayer.  All worldly distractions are just that: distractions that should be avoided if they move you away from prayer to your Master.  Admitting that Islam has become a negative influence on the world, and that it is not the shining light of Peace that it was meant to be, would mean absolute disaster for the faith.  Nothing can be done to turn that around.

Another interesting fact is that Islam has a legal code.  Again, very similar to Judiasm.  And in both, that legal code is one that favors those that belong the faith.  So while the purest form of Islam is a very simple concept, (One God, submit), it grows to become a larger entity to encompass work, play, marriage, etc. As everything can come in line to submit to God, this is how a very simple thing becomes very complicated.  There is a very real attraction toward submitting yourself to something else, think Fifty shades of Grey.  You can find respite knowing that life may be unfair, but at least there is a larger purpose to it.  As long as you continue to submit, there is really no disaster you can't handle, because God has a plan.  There is also a real attraction to the lack of moral ambiguity.  A huge plus to a Muslim.  You don't have to wrestle with grey areas; everything is put in to neat little boxes for you.  Gays = bad.  Alcohol = bad. Gambling  = bad. I remember a picture book of foods you could eat with big Xs on the animals that were ... bad.  The fact that we have technology that makes those foods safe to eat in 2015: not relevant.  God commanded don't do it.. so don't do it. So easy. Quite attractive, when in reality the world is in constant moral flux.  Almost as attractive, is the fact that when you've forsaken the world for God, you really don't have that much to care about.  Other than making people see things your way, to lift the veil off the world and expose it for the cancer it is. Those walking in that path with you are your brothers and sisters, and you can rely on them like family. Now since Muslim economies generally can't compete in the world economy.. there is high unemployment.. which leads to sending your kids to madrasa (Islamic schooling) and the short stepping stone from madrasa to terrorist cell.

Western Muslims do have a more enlightened view of Islam that is not wholly incompatible with modernization and often retort that Muslims only turn to fundamentalism because the West is so corrupt and they need a counter to all the sex, drugs, etc. Or because of the West's policies to Muslim countries.  This is unfortunately not the case.  Muslim countries did a fine job destroying themselves. They have persistently shown themselves incapable of rooting out terrorism, simply because the ask is too great.  Islam treats insiders better than outsiders.. FACT.  You have to tell people the Islamic doctrine needs amending which would have zero buy in. It would be next to impossible to drop the Sharia Law and just follow tenets of the religion, praying, charity, fasting, etc.  On the other hand, the Bible also says some ridiculously horrible things,but these things have largely been whitewashed away, as they are ridiculous in the 21st century.  Islam has a much harder time with this.   

Is there any reason to fear a Muslim for being Muslim.. No! Absolutely not.  Are they free to exercise their religion as they please.. Yes of course! Are they trying to bring Sharia Law to the US.. No.. not at all. When living in a foreign land, Muslims are prescribed to live in peace and follow the rules of that land.  They just want to practice freely, and in peace, like we allow the Amish to do.  However, if you believe that 1400 Arabia is the goal, you will never be able to maximize  your potential, and if allowed to run countries...they will always run into the ground.  Are Muslims generally xenophobic, sure.. but so are many other cultures.  Muslims need to understand that parts of Sharia Law are outdated, and need to come up with new laws on interacting with each other and outsiders to live in the 21st century.  

My issues with Islam... part 1

Hi Universe,

I now take a moment away from changing diapers and singing the alphabet (which Justin gives me flack for), to discuss my feelings on the current issues with foreign policy, Islam, Islamophobia and ISIS.  I am by no means an expert opinion in this.  I do however have quite an in depth knowledge on the thoughts of regular day Muslims and my experience in how they interact with the world around them.

So, in case you didnt know, I was born Muslim, and grew up in a very religious environment.  I will inform the lay person of what this means.  Some facts..  Muslims believe in a singular God, Allah(S), is just one of the many names to describe God.  There are 99 other names as well. These names include giver of honor.. and dishonor.  The Merciful and the Humilator....the list goes on.  The Muslim concept of God is extremely singular, and quite abstract.  When I was taught about God, it was often like this: think about each particle in the universe, where it did come from, where did that come from, etc.  There has to be some master puppeteer.. Muslims call that God. Muhammad(S) is NOT a God.

God doesn't care about you in any real way, he created and then we existed.  There were no accidents, no heaven vs hell epic laser gun battles (which btw make a lot more sense to me than using swords and shields). God is omniscient, there is no way of doing anything He doesn't know about.  Whether he cares.. that is a different story.  A Muslim's only purpose in life is to serve God, in fact Muslim means servant/submitter.  Many stories of prophets include having God do ridiculous things to you while you keep saying Thank you.  God may burn your field, but at least he gave you air to breathe.  God may take away the air you breathe but at least he let you breathe it for awhile.  Similar to the Jewish God, God can be kind but can also be kind of ruthless.  In fact, one of the stories about praying.. God wanted us to pray 50 times a day, but as a mercy, and a lot of begging from Muhammad.. he whittled it down to 5.  The Muslim God therefore is not an easy God who wants nice things to happen to you... He is a God that wants a LOT of attention, and any interruption in that attention is sacrilege.  He commands to destroy idolatory similar to the Jewish prophets and you can't walk in front of someone while they are praying lest they be considered to be praying to a mortal. God views Humankind.. kind of like we view a dog.  We want it to love us.. and spend a lot of time loving us.  If it doesn't.. well we can spray in the face with some water.. or sentence it to an eternity burning in flames.

Now all jokes aside, one would ask.. why believe in a God like this? I've heard many liberal Christians say if God hates homosexuals... I dont wanna believe in a God like that.  But the Muslim God (and I think very similarly the Jewish God) doesn't really care what you believe.  To the believer, it is fact.  That is the way God is, it is not a matter of debate.  Sometimes dogs get a nice owner.. sometimes they get a rather fickle owner.  You still love your owner.  That's the way a dog should be because it cant just knock on the door of the neighbor and say.. well my first owner was a meanie.. so will you be my owner now?  In fact, there is no reason to believe that God would be nice.  There is sufficient reason to believe that God would be exactly the way he is described in the Quran and the First Testament.  I mean God invented disease, famine, natural disasters, cancer, etc.  If God wanted a nice beautiful world, She/He/It could have easily created that instead.  He seems to have wanted to create a world full of random evils so She/He/It did.  One could say that that one can only know good if they have seen bad, but who cares.  If I had nothing to compare "good" to, then the only difference would be that I would be a little less appreciative of it.  Which as we can see.. is exactly what God would NOT want.  Hence, it is quite logical that if God exists...She/He/It is totally as harsh as Muslims believe.

In Islam, those outside of the religion belong to either two classes: the People of the Book and the kaffir.  The People of the Book are Jews and Christians and the Kaffir are everyone else.  Kaffir are idolators, i.e. Hindus, Buddhists, Romans, etc.  The People of the Book are Christians and Jews, who have misguided beliefs that have either shared power with God (Christians) or not accepted the completing of the story (Jews) with Muhammad and Jesus.  Jewish beliefs mirror Muslim beliefs quite heavily, and I actually don't know of many areas where orthodox Jews are that different from Muslims.  However, with the politics of the world somehow Jews and Muslims don't get along. This somewhat multifactorial.  One component is the state of Israel, which when formed really ticked off the Muslim world.  But that was a generation ago, so why is the existence of a Jewish state such a continued thorn? Well I believe it is two reasons.  One is the slash to pride, which Muslims hold to dearly.  It really has nothing to do with Jews, Anti-Semitism, etc. It has to do with land.  They had land, and they lost a war, and land was taken away.  If it was given to Britain, Germany, etc, they would have felt the same way. 

The other reason has to do with what I call the OSC, the Overly Similar Complex.  This is why Protestants and Catholics have fought, why Sunnis and Shiites have fought, why Amanda Bynes and Miley Cyrus have fought, etc.  If two religions/people,etc are very similar in traits, then you lose feeling unique.  You lose feeling special. Thus you find exactly what it is different about you and the guy/gal next door and hold on to it harder than a hair metal band holds on to the 80s.  This single unique thing that differentiated you from the guy next door now defines your identity completely, and you have to hate the thing that you were so closely related to.. lest you become unimportant.  There is really nothing in Islam that says you should treat anyone with anything less than the utmost courtesy and respect, but if you have devoted all your time to God, and now you don't feel important because that guy next to you is spending his entire day praying as well.. Well.. we may just have a problem because my prayers are better than his prayers.  (In fact, several branches of Islam argue about such things.. like whether the correct way to pray consists of keeping your forefinger up, or wiggling it up and down during a specific part of the prayer ritual.)  Very few cultures embrace differences as a good thing, and even America, which does to more extent than other areas of the world, continues to be plagued by problems regarding this.

What makes Islam way different than it's Jewish counterpart? It's ability to stay exactly the same.  While Judiasm has created conservative and reform movements, Islam has stayed exactly the same.  Some people blame this on not having a Caliph (leader), but really other religions that don't have  a strong centralized leadership have been able to modernize in some sense.  Islam fundamentally prides itself on it's inabilty to change.  Islam is complete .. whole.. final.  The Quran is complete .. whole.. final. This is where Muslims really run into trouble with modern society.

Anyways.. I'm tired now.. so i guess this will be a multiple part submission.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Parenting 101

Hi Universe, 

We got back from Thailand a few weeks ago, and as usual I got really lazy.  So I haven't kept up with this project.. but no guilt. :P

Babies are now 3 months old, and doing really well!  Both have started to smile, and their personalities are becoming more evident every day. 

So I think I have formed my own theory on parenting.. 
I call it Parenting without Guilt.  

It's quite liberating, in fact and only one involves one very simple principle.  No one knows your baby like you do, and you have the best odds for knowing whats right for them.  There are of course clear recommendations by pediatricians, etc, that one should keep in mind. (Anti -Vaxxers .. sorry this is not meant to make you feel better about your horrible decision.)  

In case you want a brief overview of what parenting books tell you, its basically one of two camps.  Parent leading vs Child leading care.  Child leading care is popularized by a guy named Dr. Sears, who  basically says any moment you spend away from your child is a travesty, and relies heavily on guilting parents into complying with their child's every wish.  They are big into breastfeeding, co-sleeping (a higher SIDS risk), feeding on demand, etc.  The principal here is that your child is trying to make a connection to the real world, and needs to attach to you to do so.  This will build his/her confidence to the point that in the future s/he will be self sufficient. The extreme: Think Time magazine cover of the 3 year old sucking on a boob.   
Parent led parenting is the opposite: scheduled feedings, pumping or bottle feeding as necessary, separate sleeping arrangements, etc. Parent led parenting has several names and forms, but the most popularly named example is Ferber.  He "created" a method of sleep training (getting your kid to go to sleep) in which gradual time increases eventually extinguish poor behaviors.  The basic premise of Parent led parenting is that your baby should learn how to soothe him/herself gradually, yet early on.  This will help develop a self sufficient adult.  The extreme of this is baby cries till he vomits, and many on the Attachment side feel these practices are akin to torture.  

This basically means that no matter what you do, someone is telling you are doing it wrong. 

Parenting without guilt means that you are not beholden to any method, and simply find something that works for you.   Because unfortunately, when it comes down to it: all kids are different, and there is no book on your kid.  You could read parenting books till your blue in the face, and it wont help.  Your best chance at survival: try everything.   We literally have tried everything possible for some time (except breastfeeding because that wouldn't go so well with our parts) , and will likely continue to experiment.  And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.  

When they were very young we were feeding by demand, till we felt a schedule could be done.  Now we feed with a flexible schedule.  And I carry no guilt about it.  We can't breastfeed.. I carry no guilt about it. (In fact, some of the benefits of breastfeeding seem to be quite a bit over hyped if you read the actual studies.)  If breastfeeding doesn't work for you, don't feel guilty about it.. you're not a bad mother.  If you have to hire 2 nannies so you don't go insane.. rock it.  

In general, things are going well over here.. Sonya is sleeping through the night, thanks to some minor scheduling adjustments we made.  Luke, on the other hand does not (very unfortunate :( ).  Luke used to like rigid schedules, but we have done on demand feeds with him at times.  Sonya has had pretty bad issues with spit up over the last few weeks and which led us to try about 5 different types of formula.  We have decided to create our own and now use 8 cups of enfamil gentleease, and use 4 cups of enfamil ar with 24 oz of water.  Now that's a huge decision for a couple of reasons: Enfamil AR has rice in it which parenting peeps will tell you has a concern for allergies and rice has arsenic in it... which never sounds great.  But we experimented heavily on what how to use the least amount of AR formula with some good effect on the spit up, which has largely resolved now.  She is proudly still gaining weight, and doing quite well! Luke has become a monster feeder, and eats a ton. He is also way more physically engaged and can lift his head up and loves to practice standing.  

Both of them have started to smile, and this happened at almost exactly 3 months of age.  It is really cute to see them happy. :P